The Lake's Funniest Home Videos, Season 3
by xXDawnfire's FuryXx
Summary: Finally, Season 3 of The Lake's Funniest Home Videos! Warriors version of America's Funniest Home Videos. Now announcing our new host: Jackalpaw! Don't forget Dawnfire, Duskstorm, Hollyleaf, and Burt! Send in your tapes!
1. Goodbye, Falconwing! Hello, New Hosts!

Ha, I can't believe it's already season 3!" Dawnfire exclaimed.

"It's totally awesome," Duskstorm agreed. "Although, the seasons are pretty short. There's only six episodes!"

"That's because I have so many videos sent in that when I do the final episode, I have to count them one by one to figure out what to put in the poll," Dawnfire replied.

"Sounds pretty cool," Duskstorm meowed. "Hey, where's Falconwing? We haven't officially said good-bye."

"Here I am," Falconwing replied, coming out of nowhere.

"Well, it's the start of a new season, so we won't see you again until the end of the series," Dawnfire meowed. "We wanted to say good-bye before you left."

"Good-bye!" the Clans cheered.

"Bye!" screamed the fans.

"See you later," Dawnfire said. "Off you go, we have a new co-host to welcome. Ladies and gentlemen, Jackalpaw!" A golden tom with a black tail and amber eyes stepped into the clearing. He had a playful look on his face.

"Thank you! Thank you very much!" Jackalpaw meowed to the crowd. When the roar died down, Dawnfire turned to the fans.

"Finally, we have two new co-hosts for this season, to welcome my latest obsession, Tokyo Mew Mew. Ladies and gentlemen, Zakuro Fujiwara and Kish!

Zakuro was a tall girl in her late teens, with long purple hair and dark violet eyes. She had gray wolf ears and a wolf tail, and was wearing a short purple shirt and purple minishorts, with long purple boots.

Kish was an alien, with big elf-like ears. He had long (for guys) black hair tied in two short pigtails, and was wearing loose black shirt and baggy black pants.

"Why do you have so many co-hosts?" a fan asked Dawnfire.

"I currently have three obsessions: Warriors, Tremors, and Tokyo Mew Mew. Hollyleaf, Burt, Zakuro, and Kish are my favorite characters in these obsessions."

"Oh."

"Anyway, send in your tapes! I want to make an extra long episode to celebrate the start of season 3!" Dawnfire yowled. "I'll update sometime early next week! See you then!"


	2. Episode 1

"Sorry a lot!" Dawnfire moaned. "I've gotten plenty of videos, so we can start the episode right now."

"That's good," Duskstorm sighed. "Where are Zakuro and Kish?"

"Some person insulted them earlier, so they ran off. They think people don't want them in the story," Dawnfire replied. "So I've made a new poll on my profile. Should Zakuro and Kish stay in my stories, or should I take them out?"

"I want them to stay, but it's up to the fans," Duskstorm agreed.

"So let's begin!" Jackalpaw announced.

"In 5…4…3…2…1…ACTION!" Scourge's tiny voice rang out.

"Hey, and welcome back to The Lake's Funniest Home Videos, Season 3! I'm Dawnfire, and these are Duskstorm, Jackalpaw, and Burt!"

"First off, a very funny video sent in by Dawnfire2222—"

"I LOVE THAT NAME!!!" Dawnfire shouted randomly.

"Yeah. Anyway, sent in by Dawnfire2222, 'Tigerstar?'!"

*on TV*

Tigerstar: Your so cute and cuddly, aren't you? *gigantic mic appears out of nowhere, and Tigerstar begins to speak in it* I WUV YOU SO MUCH!!!

Hawkfrost: *bounding in wearing a tutu and dancing to Swan Lake* Hey d— *freezes in horror* Dad, WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU KISSING A PLUSHIE OF FIRESTAR!?!

*end of video*

"Ha! Tigerstar can be so funny sometimes," Dawnfire laughed. She looked at the paper. "Next, from jayfeatherlove, 'Moments!"

*on TV*

Graystripe: *runs into tree* Oh hi Shirley. Didn't see you there. May I claw you? *claw claw*

Shirley: ...

*scene changes*

Jayfeather: Sticky! *kisses stick* Have you Got mousemeat for Stickkit, Smoothstick and Markstick?

Stick: Yes, but I ran into Cinderheart, and she told me that she has her own stick now and that he's better looking than me. *pouts*

Jayfeather: *breaks into song, dancing the can-can, and singing show tunes*

Stick: What the heck, Jayfeather! Not again. *Whispers* And not in front of the kits and sticks.

Jayfeather:*While dancing* The kits are blind and deaf, which they get from your side of the family by the way, and I'm sure this will be just fine.

Stick:...

*scene changes*

Firestar: Hey burrito!

Burrito: ...

Firestar: Burrito! Why aren't you talking to me? Are you...breaking up withme?! *cries*

Burrito: ...

Firestar: Is it because I'm a cat and your a burrito? Because I don't care-!

Burrito: Just shut up already! I'm leaving to go find Smudge!

Firestar: ...*sulks in emo corner*

Burrito: Oh get over it already. You were too gassy anyway.

Firestar: *Runs away, half drunk on catnip, and smacks into a tree.* Oh, Hi.

Shirley: Hi Graystripe.

Graystripe: ... *While clawing Shirley*

Shirley: ...

*end of video*

"That was pretty funny. I love the burrito one the most," Duskstorm laughed.

"I agree," Dawnfire said. "Next, from XxRandom NemesisxX, 'Jayfeather and Leafpool dueling with lightsabers'!"

*on video*

Jayfeather: I know the truth! Squirrelflight is not my mother!

Leafpool: What else did Bluestar tell you?

Jayfeather: That you killed who ever my mother is for your evil schemas.

Leafpool: No. Jayfeather, I am your mother!

Jayfeather: NO!

*end of video*

"I don't see what that has to do with lightsabers, but okay, it was funny!" Dawnfire said. "XxRandom NemesisxX also has one called 'Firestar and Tigerstar battling with lightsabers', and here it is."

*on TV*

Firestar: If you strike me down I will become even more powerful.

Tigerstar: Die kittypet!

Sauron: (Walks in and stabs Tigerstar in the heart with his sword)

Firestar: Um…

Sauron: (turns and corners Firestar) tell me where the ring is!

Firestar: What ring!

Sauron: Oops! Wrong book.

*end of video*

"Three letters: L-O-L!" Dawnfire laughed. "Next, from Kylyn, 'The Crazy Epic of the Mixed-up Clans'!"

*on TV*

ThunderClan: *starts swimming*

RiverClan: What are you doing in the river! Tresspassers!

Voletooth: Hey, a rabbit! Let's get it!

RiverClan: Okay! *chase after rabbits*

WindClan: Get off our territory! *hiss in a hostile, ShadowClan-like way* Now we'll steal your territory! Mua ha ha!

ShadowClan: Come, Missy, come join the Clan.

Missy the Kittypet: Okay!

*end of video*

"Ha! Hilarious! Great idea, Kylyn!" Duskstorm laughed.

"Next, from warriorz, 'Fighting with Chickens'!"

*on TV*

Birchfall and Millie: *fighting with chickens*

Birchfall: Millie, have you met -pen-doop-sie?

Millie: *flights with male roosters* no, who's -pen-doop-sie?

Birchfall: this! *a giant ball of moss sits there* shiny shiny shiny *shines moss with car oil*

Millie: Beep beep! Weeo-weeoo-weeoo-weeo-wo-wweo-beep beep honk honk snorrt!

*end of video*

"That was random," Dawnfire giggled.

"Next, from warriorz, 'Firestar and Leopardstar, fighting with TMM books'!"

*on TV*

Firestar: where's the tail?

Leopardstar: what tail?

InuYasha: *stabs Leoparstar with book of Tokyo Mew Mew* Where's -pocky  
bear?

Firestar: who?

InuYasha: *looks for bear and cries * POCKY BEAR!

*end of video*

"Again, very random," Jackalpaw commented.

"Next, from Dawnfire2222, 'How Hawkfrost really died'!"

*on TV*

Hawkfrost: *wearing a ballet tutu and carrying a camera comes in dancing to Swan Lake freezes in complete horror* No wonder daddy doesn't let anyone into his den!

Tigerstar: *talking to a poster of Firestar, and wearing a bra, a bikini, and a lot of makeup* Oh aren't you just so handsome, aren't you? Why did you have to go with Sandstorm, Firestar? Why did you have to leave me?

The next day, there were a hundred pictures of Tigerstar, in a bra, kissing a Firestar plushie on the wall.

The day after that, Hawkfrost was found dead.

*end of video*

"Ha, funny," giggled Duskstorm. "Next, from dawn, 'Dream'!"

*on TV*

Jayfeather:*walking*

Leafpool:look out!

Jayfeather:*falls into lake*what fo-

*later in the med. den*

Jayfeather: *dreaming* cool. I'm seeing outside of my body, just like in Hannah Montana! Hi Bluestar and cat with camera.

Bluestar: I love that show!

Bluestar and Jayfeather: *pulls out wigs* you get the limo... *sing*

Cat with camera: *backs away from the crazy cats*

*end of video*

"Heh, funny," Burt said from the bottom of the Great Rock.

"Very," Jackalpaw agreed.

"Next, from Swansong102, 'Cinderheart Tries Too Hard'!"

*on TV*

Cinderheart: *in the medicine den singing Feelin' me Feelin' by Alica Keys*

Jayfeather: *walks in* Cinderheart why are you in here? *looks past her for his stick*

Cinderheart:Through having long conversations on the phone can't get you otta my mind baby are u feeling me feeling you everything you say and everything you gets me lost in your gaze at a time tell me are you feeling me feeling you…

Jayfeather: No I'm not feeling you I love Sticky and possibly Poppyfrost.

Cinderheart: What! *runs away screaming and crying*

Jayfeather: Sticky! I'm so glad she didn't hurt you!

Cinderheart: *comes back and breaks Sticky* If I can't have you no one can!

Poppyfrost: *comes in*

Jayfeather: Poppyfrost run!

Poppyfrost: *runs*

Cinderheart: *catches Poppyfrost and kills her*

Jayfeather: My loves! I shall love Wilowshine!

Cinderheart: *runs to RiverClan to kill Willowshine*

Jayfeather: *runs to RiverClan to save Willowshine*

*end of video*

"Hilarious! Couldn't stop laughing!" Dawnfire said in between gasps.

"Next, from Hawktail2000, 'Clan Boredom'!"

*on TV*

Squirrelflight: *chugs a six pack of Mountain Dew

Firestar: *reading "War and Peace"*

Brambleclaw: *banging his head on the wall of Firestar's den*

Sorraltail: *staring into space like a zombie*

*CRASH!*

Squirrelflight: I AM HYPER!

Firestar: *drops the book and puts on some heavy metal music*

Brambleclaw: *starts doing the disco*

Sorraltail: *starts talking at the speed of sound*

Squirrelflight: PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!

Firestar: *turns up the heavy metal music until it's practically blowing the roof off the den*

Brambleclaw: *stops doing the disco, grabs a guitar and starts playing along with the heavy metal music*

Sorraltail: *breaks the sound barrier and starts talking at the speed of sound*

POP! snap! Crackle!

*radio goes dead*

Squirrelflight: *grabs another six pack of Mountain Dew from the fridge*

Firestar: *picks up "War and Peace" and starts reading again*

Brambleclaw: *resumes banging his head on the wall of Firestar's den*

Sorraltail: *stares into space like a zombie*

*end of video*

"Random! And funny!" Duskstorm meowed, purring in amusement.

"Next, from Hawktail2000, 'Mine!'!"

*on TV*

Leafpool: *sets a plate of brownies on a rock to cool*

Squirrelflight: *walks up to the plate of brownies and takes a sniff* Mmm, brownies!

Leafpool: Squirrelflight! Quit drooling over my brownies!

Squirrelflight: But they smell SO good!

Leafpool: *picks up a stick and hits Squirrelflight on the head* GET AWAY FROM MY BROWNIES YOU SMELLY PIECE OF FOX DUNG! THEY'RE MINE, YOU HEAR ME! MINE!

*end of video*

"Leafpool has anger issues," laughed Jackalpaw.

"Do not!" came Leafpool's voice from the audience.

"Next, from Incohnito. Anonymous Incognito, 'Jayfeather is Gay'!"

*on TV*

One normal day, or as normal as it could be with Jayfeather,

Jayfeather Faingirl: OH EM GEE! HE IS SO CUTE!

Jayfeather: *fawning over a poster of Dustpelt* AHHHHH!

Lionblaze: hears his brother's screeching and comes into the den* Eep! *his confused face turned to one of uttermost horror when he sees Jayfeather dancing in front of the poster* Uh, Jayfeather? Why are you standing in front of a poster? You're blind. And  
we're cats! We don't have printers!

Jayfeather: CUZ MY DUSTY IS SO CUT ROFLCOPTEROMGWTFBBQHAHAYAY! *accidentally mistakes his own hind leg for a Dustpelt plushie*

Lionblaze: *slowly backs out of the medicine den* I'VE GOTTA REPORT THIS TO FIRESTAR!!! *runs to Firestar's den*

Firestar: *hugging a Spottedleaf plushie, then sees Lionblaze* GO AWAY! I'M BONDING WITH MY SPOTTY-POO!

A TV comes out of nowhere.

Firestar: *throws TV at Lionblaze*

Lionblaze: *freaked out, runs out of camp and finds himself in a Mexican resturaunt*

Random guys who don't look Latino: *starts singing about Llamas.

Lionblaze: *attacks one of the guys playing a violin*

Guy playing the violin: *turns into a banana*

Angry Monkey: *steals banana*

Lionblaze: *screams, then finds himself back in the forest, in the middle of a duel between Sticky and Poppyfrost*

Poppyfrost: I WILL WIN JAYFEATHER'S LOVE!

Sticky: *sits on a rock*

Poppyfrost: YOU WILL DIE!

Sticky: *sitting on the rock*

Poppyfrost: SHUT UP!

Sticky: *...Sat...On...A...Rock*

Jayfeather: *walks by*

Poppyfrost: *pounces on him* YOU LOVE ME BEST, RIGHT?!" she yelled at him.

Jayfeather: *pushes her off* NO! I LOVE DUSTPELT, NOT YOU! GO AWAY!

Sticky: *crying* So Mudkit, Branchkit and Woodkit mean nothing to you?!

Jayfeather: *runs over to Sticky and shoots it with a super pwnsauce gun*

Lionblaze: JAYFEATHER, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE GUNS!

Tigerstar: *cackling ominously in the background* My evil plan is working! Soon, Jayfeather will shoot everyone in the forest and I can get a contract to make this a soap opera! BWAHAHA!

To Be Continued...

*end of video*

"That was long," Dawnfire panted.

"Next, from Mistyfang ShadowClan Cat, 'ThunderClan Loses their Minds'!"

*on TV*

Squirrelflight: *Marjorly high on overdose of mice* WOOH HOO! SHADOWCLAN!  
RIVERCLAN! WINDCLAN! Join us at the kick Firestar butt party!

Firestar: *Returns from patrol* You didn't...

All Clans: *Trample Firestar*

Thornclaw: *Screaming and running around camp* Russetfur touched me! *Puts paw on Jayfeather* RUSSETFUR GERMS!

Jayfeather: ARGH! IT BURNS! *Runs at Squirrelflight* RUSSETFUR GERMS!

*10 minutes later*

Graystripe: ARRGH! GERMS!

Ashfoot: Let's play Catch and Kiss!

Clans: Yay!

Firestar: OH NO!

Sandstorm: I CAUGHT YOU! Kissy time.

Firestar: *Screams and runs around camp*

Squirrelflight: *Slithers over to Brambleclaw* Is it working? Has Firestar lost his mind?

Brambleclaw: *Checks Losing-your-mind-anotar* Yup. Definitely. It's falling out now!

Firestar: *Screams in mental pain and drops dead on the ground*

Blackstar: WOO HOO! We can go home now!

Clans: *Clear out of Thunderclan*

Lionblaze: We have no leader now!

Brambleclaw: I AM LEADER! Thornclaw! You're deputy. Murder Blackstar please.

Thornclaw: *Grins evilly*

Graystripe: THE END OF THE WORLD IS HERE!

Sol: *Appears Randomly* Yes, Gray cat, there are sixty millions moons in the sky!

Thunderclan: ARGH! IT'S SOL! *All run around and around camp until they fall  
down and scream in mental pain and die*

Sol: Nothing happened here. *Walks out*

*In Dark Forest*

Tigerstar: I will kill your Sol! Look what you did!

Ashfur: No offence or anything but all cats to carry out your evil deeds are  
dead.

Tigerstar: *Rubs paws together* Russetfur is my new minion! She will kill  
Sol!

Dark Forest Cats: *Stare*

Tigerstar: *Falls off rock he was standing on* WOO HOO!

*end of video*

"Loved the last part!"

"I agree," Dawnfire meowed. "Next, from Incognito. Anonymous Incognito, 'Close encounters of the Shroom Kid'!"

*on TV*

Jayfeather: Tra la la la la! I'm skipping in a field of daisies! Tra la la!

*Suddenly, a magical pink mushroom appears!*

Jayfeather: Oo oo! Pwetty plant! I wonder if it's tasty... *chomps the mushroom.* Uh...OO! YAY! PRETTY COLORS! *runs off to chase the pwetty colors.

*meanwhile, at the ThunderClan camp*

Lionblaze: Uhh, hey, have you seen Jayfeather? I think he ran away...

Leafpool: Um. No. I haven't seen him for abou-

*A howl is heard, and Jayfeather rushes in.*

Jayfeather: OMG OMG OMG HI ALL! *Dances around, knocking over various herbs.* LIKEHAHAITSSOFUNYAYYAY!

Lionblaze: *inches away from his brother.*

Leafpool: Um, Jayfeather, are you okay?

*Jayfeather: *barrels into Leafpool, sticking his nose into her face.* OMGHIHIYAIMFINEHAHAHAYAYYA!

*Squirrelflight rushes in.*

Squirrelflight: What's going on in here?! Jayfeather, what's got into you?!

Jayfeather: OMG MOM! YAYAYAY!

Squirrelflight: I'm not your mother!

Jayfeather: WAHAHAHA!WHYAREYOUSOMEANTOME! *runs away, crying*

Bluestar: *walks in*

Firestar: Bluestar! But you're-you're-

Leafpool: Uh, Firestar? Um, what're you doing here? And how'd you get in?

Firestar: I used the hidden door. Duh.

Squirrelflight: ...I didn't know we had one of those...

Scourge: *runs in with a marshmallow bomb!* AND NOW YOU SHALL ALL DIE! MWAHAHAHA!

Marshmallow Bomb: Splat.

Bluestar: I have come back to defend you all! DIE, EVIL MARSHMALLOW!

*Bluestar pounces on the marshmallow bomb, which 'splodes, covering  
everything in white.*

*end of video*

"Loved that one!" Dawnfire giggled. "Finally, from jayfeatherlove3333, 'Confused Book AGAIN!!!'!"

*on TV*

Firestar: ThunderClan, attack!

Blackstar: What did we ever do to you, Firestar?

Firestar: DIE SLYTHERIN DIE!

Blackstar: *looking confused* Huh? Who's Slytherin?

Firestar: Whoops, wrong book.

*end of video*

"That concludes our show tonight, friends! See you next time!" Dawnfire yowled. The cameras lowered, and everyone let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, 'night," Duskstorm meowed.

"Don't forget to vote on the poll," Dawnfire reminded. "'Night!"


	3. Episode 2

"Okay, we really need to get this going again," Duskstorm said.

"We are doing a show tonight, so shut up. It's about to start," Jackalpaw told her.

"Starting in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… ACTION!" Scourge shrieked.

"Hello, and welcome to The Lake's Funniest Home Videos! I'm Dawnfire, and this is Duskstorm, Hollyleaf, and Jackalpaw. Burt's taking some time off," Dawnfire said to the camera. "We're sorry that there was a delay, but there was an incident involving a crashed computer and an otaku. Anyway, we're starting off with Loststream's video, 'The Cat Who Tryed to Eat Her Mother the Traitor'."

*on TV*

Hollyleaf: *is roasting Leafpool on a stick* traitor for dinner!

Leafpool: I command you to let me go!

Hollyleaf: you're not my mother!

Leafpool: yes, I am!

Hollyleaf: right...

Loststream: appears out of nowhere, blasts Leafpool with a bazooka*

Leafpool: ow

Hollyleaf: high-five!

Loststream: *high-fives Hollyleaf* now I have to drag you off to an Asylum!

Loststream's Dogs: *drag Hollyleaf to the asylum*

Hollyleaf: curse you!

*end of video*

"Next, from The Jackal, Revenge!" Duskstorm yowled.

*on TV*

Tigerstar: Hn...so you found me, Firestar...now that you see me before you, do  
you hate me?

Hawkfrost: Well, you did some pretty bad stuff to him, killing you will only  
make him feel better...

Tigerstar: JUST SHUT UP!

Firestar: Actually, I just wanted to know why you killed Bluestar...

Tigerstar: So we're cool?

Firestar: NO...no I hate you NO...I just wanted to know what your story  
was...

Tigerstar: You want to know why? Because of my pain...do you wish to see it?

Firestar: ...sure *shrugs8

Tigerstar: *sobs like a baby*

Firestar: Wtf?

*Sasuke Uchiha appears out of nowhere*

Sasuke: I WILL KILL YOU NARUTO! *stabs Firestar*

Tigerstar: I WON! H* YEAH!

*end of video*

"Next, from HP and WC fan, 'Graystripe's Fury!" said Jackalpaw.

*on TV*

Blackstar- Millie, you are a useless kittypet!

Graystripe- SHOVE IT UP YOUR CRACK!

*end of video*

"I never knew Graystripe had such language," Dawnfire chuckled. "Next, also from ShadeyKat, 'Jayfeather's Possessed!'."

*on TV*

Jayfeather- *using Leafpool's stero with headphones and singing lyrics to Caramelldansen* Oo Oo Oo Wawua!

Drunken Leafpool- Oh my gosh he's being haunted by the Dark Forest or some crap like that! *stuffs yarrow into his mouth*

Jayfeather- *pukes*

Leafpool: *hits him on the head with a beer bottle to snap him out of it*

12 minutes later

Jayfeather- What the heck did you do to me?

Leafpool- You were speaking in tongues.

Jayfeather- Speaking in to- HOW COULD YOU NOT HEAR OF CARAMELLDANSEN! Anyways, how does giving a cat herbs to make them VOMIT and then hitting them with a blunt object drive an evil spirit away?

Pause

Leafpool- The yarrow was for the evil spirit, the beer bottle was for using my stereo.

*end of video*

"Haha, Leafpool is funny," Jackalpaw laughed. "Next, from Tigerflame, The Lake has gone cuckoo!"

*on TV*

Leafpool: Hi is anyone here?

Crowfeather: *disguised as a bush* No.

Leafpool: Oh well, I may as well mate with Thorntail.

Crowfeather *jumps out of disguise* No Leafpool I love you!

Leafpool: "Tricked you!"

*50 archers jump out from behind bushes*

Leafpool: Now give me 10 bucks or die.

Crowfeather: I thought you loved me *hands the money over*

Leafpool: I do honey, but i love money more! *counts up her money, gives him a  
kiss, and walks away*

*end of video*

"Next, from Jason Southwell, Pump It!"

*on TV*

Layla: They said they would be here...

*Pump It starts playing & The Forest Eyed Peas exit the car*

Seth, Layla, & Li: O_O.

*They get beaten big time, by Jayfeather & Lionblaze*

Then they get to the Laundomat.

All the people in there: O_O.

Then in the circle

*The Forest Eyed Peas dodging attacks*

Jayfeather: *Kicks a bowling ball he dosen't see coming back by a back flip,  
then runs on everyone*

Lionblaze: Come on baby, do it.

Dovepaw: La Da De Da De Da *Repeats many times while dodging attacks*

Later, All are fallen.

Jayfeather: Okay, day out of the forest over. *Sighs* Our jobs suck.

*end of video*

"Next, from dawn, 'The real reason Jayfeather is blind'," Dawnfire announced.

*on TV*

Jaykit: I'm bored *walks to Firestar's den* what the! are those posters of Tigerstar,Graystripe, Dustpelt, and Ashfur?

Firestar: *kisses Ashfur poster* I love you. Oh you too Tigerstar and Graystripe. Dustpelt why did you mate with Ferncloud?

Jaykit: MY EYES!

*end of video*

"Next, from xxxjayfeatherxxx, 'Icecloud Lost in Liontown'!"

*on TV*

*ThunderClan camp*

Icecloud: I'm in Liontown. All my workers look like Lionblaze.

Lionblaze *Looks bewildered*: Uh...

Hollyleaf: OBEY THE WARRIOR CODE!

Leafpool *snickers*: Yeah right!

Icecloud *sits with her kits*: Time to become apprentices my little Lionkits.

Lionkits: Uhh... Our names are Ravenkit, Hollykit, and Spiderkit.

Icecloud: No they aren't. Their Lionkit.

Lionblaze shakes his head: That cat has issues.

Hollyleaf: YOU DISOBEYED THE WARRIOR CODE!

Tigerstar appears with silver stake: DIE DIE HOLLYLEAF DIE!

Hollyleaf: *dies*

Tigerstar: I RULE NOW!

*end of video*

"Why does everyone catch the videos of me dying?" Hollyleaf asked sourly.

"Oh, suck it up," Dawnfire and Duskstorm said together.

"Next, from Mistyfang ShadowClan Cat, 'Don't Steal My Fish!'," Jackalpaw said.

*on TV*

*Riverclan Territory*

Graystripe: *Wandering around and sees Pile of Fish* Oh Look! Pile of Fish!  
*Eats*

Leopardstar: *Comes out of no where* HOW DARE YOU! *Fires laser at

Graystripe and he turns into a pile of soot*

Graystripe: Bleh!

Leopardstar: MUAH HA HA! *Runs back to Riverclan*

Purdy: *Randomly walks by* Oh Look! A pile of soot! Looks tasty! *Eats Graystripe*

Graystripe: NO!

*Thunderclan Camp*

Jayfeather: *Dressed as Legolas* I feel a disturbance

Firestar: *Dressed as Aragorn* Gondor is under attack and Gimli is missing!  
Lets go!

Squirrelflight: WRONG BOOK GUYS!

Lionblaze: *Takes Camera down* This isn't working. I'll try Shadowclan.

Brambleclaw: *As Gandalf* NO! *Leaps at Lionblaze and misses*

Lionblaze: *Sighs* Nevermind. *Walks off with Leafpool, Berrynose and

Cinderheart, dragging the camera.

*Twolegplace*

Purdy: *Belly Groans* Uh oh... *Explodes*

Graystripe: *Jumps out of Purdy's belly* I'M FREE!

*end of video*

"Next, from Incognito. Anonymous Incognito, 'Have You Seen The Little Kitties'."

*on TV*

*Somewhere in BloodClan territory...*

All Cats: We're the Cats of the Round Table, we dance when we're able, between our quests, we sequin vests and impresona-

*Scourge comes rushing in.*

Scourge: ...NOW JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Random Kit #1: We're practicing Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

Scourge: What's that?

Random Kit #1: It's something from TV!

Scourge: Sh. We're cats, we're not supposed to be tech-savvy.

All cats: A one and a two and a one two three four! Always look on the bright si-ide of-

*Scourge pounces on a random lackey and rips its throat out*

Scourge: DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE SING?

All cats (Except Random Lackey #2): ...

Random Lackey #2: Urgh...*Dies*

Scourge: GOOD.

*Scourge turns to leave*

All alive cat lackeys: *Quietly* ...Eric the Half A Bee...

Scourge: THAT'S IT!

*Scourge chases his lackeys through Twolegplace, down to Antarctica, around China, and finally off a cliff*

All Cats (Except Scourge): AH-SPLAT-

Scourge: That's more like it...

*Tigerstar runs up*

Tigerstar: HEY! DON'T I GET A PART IN THIS TOO?

Scourge: Why yes you do. You get to be roadkill.

*A random motorcycle appears out of nowhere and Scourge hops onto it*

Tigerstar: HEY! NO FAIR! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DRIVE!

Scourge: Shut up.

*Scourge runs over Tigerstar*

Tigerstar: *Dies!*

Scourge: Ah.

*Scourge rides into the sunset...And promptly gets burned into an ash by the sun.*

*Scourge and Tigerstar arrive in the afterlife, where they wear ugly XL white robes, plastic halos, and carry stupid little shepherd crooks.*

Tigerstar: I hate you.

Scourge: Shut up. I hate you more.

*Scourge whacks Tigerstar on the head with his shepherd crook and knocks him  
off the cloud*

*end of video*

"Next, from Fluff, 'Firestar + Explosives = Total Destruction'."

Fluff: This is gonna be great i got an HD video camera and i planted a big ol fat pile of TNT for firestar to find so he can blow himself up oh heheh! *is hyper and recording*

Firestar: *walks along in the forest, and finds a strange pile of many different kinds of long red things in a big fat pile* Oh what is this? It looks fuunn! *is hyper from coffee break*

Leafpool: Um, Firestar, that's-

Firestar: SHINY

Leafpool: Firestar, don't-

Firestar: *gets match* What will happen if I throw this into the shiny red pile?

Leafpool: NO FIRESTAR NO! YOU'LL DESTROY THE-

Bluestar: *randomly appears* Whatt's up?

Leafpool: *praying to Starclan*

Icepaw: *faints*

Bluestar: *looks around*

Firestar: *lights match*

Leafpool: NO! *slow motion*

Firestar: *throws match in slowmotion*

The Patrol and Bluestar: *slowmotion* NO!

Match: Whiff. *goes out*

Firestar: NO! I wanted to seh what wuz gonna happen!

Everybody: phew! *wipes brows*

Match: HAHAHAHAHAHAH! NOT! *lights*

Firestar: YAY! *claps*

Bluestar: Any last words, anybody, before you all join me in eternal depression?

Thornclaw: WAHH! I WANT MY MOMMY!

Everyone: *Stares*

Thornclaw: *defensive* WHAT? It's true.

Icepaw: jelahvweilryqio;auvyrobweia;byvweia;rwbvyi;awvorvy

Leafpool: *rolls eyes*

*hissing noise in background*

Everyone: *gulps*

Bluestar: Mommy?

BOOM!

The following explosion was too graphic to put in words. Please stand by. *screen goes black for five minutes*

5 hours later...

Whitewing: Where's Firestar, Thornclaw, Leafpool, and Icepaw?

Brambleclaw: I dunno, let's go! *summons a patrol* ?

Brambleclaw's Patrol: SIR YES SIR! *march out of camp*

2 minutes later...

Everybody: !

*a burned and blackened plain is visible, with no trace of anything or anybody*

The Patrol: *gasp*

Sandstorm: *looks around* hey wheres Brambleclaw?

Squirrelflight: Over here! by the pile of shiny red things!

Fluff: *snickers* More TNT for Brambleclaw!

Ivykit and Dovekit: Meep.

Brambleclaw: Oh what is this? It looks fun!

Leafpool: *coughs, and staggers over the hill*

Squirrelflight: Leafpool! You're alive!

Leafpool: *sees Brambleclaw with a match by the dynamite, and runs for the  
hills*

Squirrelflight: Leafpool wait!

The Cats: *in dongs on them that the red things are dynamite and they're  
about to be blown up* oh no

BOM!

*end of video*

"That was funny," Hollyleaf giggled. "Our next video is from Swiftfire102, 'Feathertail isn't a virgin'."

*on TV*

Crowfeather:*snuggling with Feathertail's spirit* Oh Feathry

Feathertail: Crowfeather I'm pregnat.

Nightcloud: *overhears* She's what?

Leafpool:*at ThunderClan camp* My Crowy senses are tingling one of the other  
ones are pregnant!*runs to WindClan*

*Misson impssible theme plays as Leafpool sneaks around*

Leafpool:*peeks in and whispers* Feathertail! I knew it.*goes to Moonpool*

Bluestar:*eating pizza*What?

Leafpool: Feathertail isn't a virgin!

Bluestar: So?*bites pizza*

Leafpool: As of the books she'a a virgin!

Bluestar:*bites pizza, steam comes out of her head as she thinks* Feathertail! Silverstream!*claps paws*

Feathertail: what Bluestar?

Bluestar:You broke your vow of chastity(viginity)

Feathertail:Who told you?

Bluestar:*finishes pizza* Leafpool

Feathertail: Have you forgotten Leafpool is a medicine cat that broke her vow I'm a warrior.

Silverstream: Those kits will kill you if I don't first

Bluestar: Crookedstar get yo' daughter!

Rainfeather(Silvy's mother): Silverstream beef jerky!

Silverstream: BEEF!

Everyone else:...

Bluestar: Leafpool you know you're going to HellClan right?

Leafpool: What?

*end of video*

"Next, also from Swiftfire102, 'Jayfeather did it again'."

*on TV*

Jayfeather: *singing "Oops I did again"*

Cinderheart: Jayfeather I'm pregnant

Jayfeather: What!Poppyfrost said that yesterday and Willowshine said that the day before that! How am I suposed to pay all this child support?

Cinderheart: I'm getting an abortion *slaps Jayfeather*

Jayfeather: No!

*end of video*

"Poor Jayfeather," Hollyleaf said.

"Finally, from XxRandom NemesisxX, Muffins!"

Firestar: *Reading Harry Potter*

Jayfeather: *Runs into Firestar's den* HELP! THE MUFFINS ARE COMING!

Firestar: *Continues to read book*

Random Nemesis: *Runs by chasing Hawkfrost with pitchfork* I WILL HAVE REVENGE!

Firestar: *Still reading book*

Hollyleaf: *Runs into Firestar's den* MUST FOLLOW THE WARRIOR CODE OR WE WILL DIE!

Firestar: *Still reading book* OMG! Harry just kissed Cho!

*end of video*

"Anyway, that finishes episode two of The Lake's Funniest Home Videos. We will post the next one as soon as we can, but no guarantees, because of limited computer access. Send in your videos and see ya soon!" Dawnfire said.


End file.
